| Leslie Nielsen | ... Dick Steele "Agent WD-40" |
| Nicollette Sheridan | ... Veronique Ukrinsky "Agent 3.14" |
| Charles Durning | ... The Director |
| Marcia Gay Harden | ... Miss Cheevus |
| Barry Bostwick | ... Norman Coleman |
| John Ales | ... Kabul |
| Andy Griffith | ... Gen. Rancor |
| Elya Baskin | ... Prof. Ukrinsky |
| Mason Gamble | ... McCluckey |
| Carlos Lauchu | ... Slice |
| Stephanie Romanov | ... Victoria / Barbara Dahl |
|
| Friends Who Stopped By |
| Joyce Brothers | ... Steele's Tag Team Member |
| Ray Charles | ... Bus Driver |
| Roger Clinton | ... Agent Clinton |
| Robert Culp | ... Businessman |
| Fabio | ... Himself |
| Robert Guillaume | ... Agent Steve Bishop |
| Hulk Hogan | ... Steele's Tag Team Member |
| Pat Morita | ... Brian the Waiter |
| Alexandra Paul | ... Woman in Murphy Bed |
| Mr. T | ... Agency Helicopter Pilot |
| Alex Trebek | ... Agency Tape Recorder Voice Over (voice) |
|
| Curtis Armstrong | ... Pastry Chef |
| Tina Arning | ... Dancer #1 |
| William Barillaro | ... Blind Driver |
| Michael Berryman | ... Bus Patron with Oxygen Mask |
| Downtown Julie Brown | ... Cigarette Girl |
| Stephen Burrows | ... Agent Burrows |
| Keith Campbell | ... Thug #2 |
| Carl Ciarfalio | ... Thug #1 |
| Johnny Cocktails | ... Postal Worker |
| Wayne Cotter | ... Male Dancer |
| Rick Cramer | ... Rancor Terrorist (Heimlich) |
| Eddie Deezen | ... Rancor Guard Who Gets Spit On |
| Joey Dente | ... Dead Wise Guy (Goombah) |
| Paul Eliopoulos | ... Agent #1 |
| Andrew Christian English | ... Paratrooper |
| Brad Garrett | ... Short Rancor Guard (voice) |
| Michael Lee Gogin | ... Short Rancor Guard |
| Bruce Gray | ... The President |
| Hollis Hill | ... Agent #2 |
| Brian Howe | ... Clubhouse Bartender |
| Nia James | ... Rancor Terrorist |
| Valentino Johnson | ... Michael Jackson Lookalike |
| Elizabeth Kaitan | ... Helicopter Ticket Agent |
| John Kassir | ... Rancor Guard @ Intercom |
| Diane Klimaszewski | ... Twin #1 |
| Elaine Klimaszewski | ... Twin #2 |
| Austin Kottke | ... Boy with Balloons |
| Clyde Kusatsu | ... Noggin |
| Kelly Lange | ... Herself |
| Michael Leahs | ... Jogger |
| Tara León | ... Masseuse |
| Bruno Marcotulli | ... Sad Mime |
| Esau McKnight | ... Warrior on Cell Phone "Skippy" |
| Katherine Moffat | ... Agent Moffat |
| Fran Montano | ... Carny at Weapons Lab |
| Talisa Soto | ... Herself |
| Ron Morgan | ... Weapons Lab Worker |
| Joanne Nerlino | ... Machine Gun Packing Nun Leader |
| Mil Nicholson | ... English Countdown Lady |
| Gayle Obodzinski | ... Dancer #2 |
| Gary Owens | ... M.C. for Rancor Extortion Video |
| Tyler Patton | ... Punk Leader |
| Julie Payne | ... Mother Superior |
| Pee Wee Piamonte | ... Fighting Rancor Guard |
| Jeff Sanders | ... Bird-Calling Rancor Guard |
| Thom Sharp | ... Agent Sharp |
| Shari Shattuck | ... Stewardess |
| Pat Tanzillo | ... Agent Tanzillo |
| Thuy Trang | ... Masseuse |
| Angela Visser | ... Georgeous Blonde |
| Still Trying to Get It | ... Georgeous Blonde's Telephone Number |
| Reid Worthington | ... Balloon-Popping Boy |
|
| Singing Nuns |
| Maxi Anderson | ... Singing Nun |
| Billie Barnum | ... Singing Nun |
| Maria Del Rey | ... Singing Nun |
| Linda Harmon | ... Singing Nun |
| Darlene Koldenhoven | ... Singing Nun |
| Carol Lombard | ... Singing Nun |
| Jeanie Long | ... Singing Nun |
| Joanne Nerlino | ... Singing Nun |
| Sally Stevens | ... Singing Nun |
| Táta Vega | ... Singing Nun |
| Jeannine Wagner | ... Singing Nun |
| Julia Waters | ... Singing Nun |
| Maxine Waters | ... Singing Nun |
